It is the Monday morning after a weekend that I did not treat my body well. I stayed up late, binged on cookies, watched an excessive amount of television and played Polytopia on my phone. This recipe results in a change in my mood, productivity, and general well-being. Thanks to my internal clock, I woke up fairly easily but aside from that, I am miles from where I want to be.

I feel angry. I feel sad. I feel impatient. I feel disappointed. I feel unmotivated. I feel tired. I feel overwhelmed. My right eye is bloodshot.

I know better, I know that the way I spend my time and what I put into my body greatly affects my mood and the way I function. Yet, I chose poorly. With each decision I made, the wise voice in the back of my head voiced her disappointment. Choosing to feel good now instead of later, I ate another cookie, stayed up another hour and played another game.

Oddly enough, this weekend followed an amazing week. I exercised consistently, ate well, and was quite productive. Where did things go wrong?

On Saturday night, I decided to stay up and watch tv instead of heading to bed. I made a batch of chocolate peanut butter oatmeal no bake cookies to cure my hankering for something sweet. Although I was full after two cookies, the addictive properties of sugar are REAL and I ate another, and another, until I had eaten a third of the bunch. I enjoyed myself and laughed at the fact that I was up at 2 am as it is quite a rare occasion for me.

By the fourth episode, I was ready to lie down and found myself asleep within the first five minutes of the show. I dragged myself upstairs to wash my face and brush my teeth, skipping a shower.

I slept soundly and woke up at 7:30 when my husband got up. I felt pretty good. I oil pulled and drank some juice. I wanted cookies but told myself that I would only eat them for dessert. I began editing a video with the idea in mind that I would get something more substantial as soon as I finished. Things took longer than expected and by the time I finished, I was SO HUNGRY. My willpower did not outlast my screaming belly and I ate cookies for breakfast. Eight of them to be exact. After the first few cookies, my belly was full yet my taste buds were begging for more. I obliged.

I was not thrilled with myself but was not feeling too terrible and made my way to the grocery store to get ingredients for a wholesome dinner. My husband got home mid-afternoon from snowboarding and dove into the cookies that appeared on the kitchen counter overnight. Initially, I declined the cookies as I had just eaten a black bean salad for lunch. My belly felt full and satisfied, the craving for sugar was not present. An hour later, my husband broke out the cookies again, this time I ate cookies too. We finished the cookies and decided to postpone dinner to later when we would be hungry. That night, later became never, as neither one of us was ready for dinner at a reasonable time. We snacked on fruit and nuts instead. We turned into bed at 10:30 and woke up at 6:30 Monday morning.

I am not ashamed of my weekend as I know that beating myself up is not conducive to moving on. I realize that feeling good and getting the results I want in life are based on choices I make. Just because I make “bad” choices from time to time, I have not undermined my “good” choices and I am an action away from getting back on track.

The first step is the hardest. Drinking a green smoothie is the first thing I did to get back on track. Writing this post is the second step. It has helped me to recount, reflect and make sense of why I had so many undesirable feelings this morning. Maybe you have felt similar. The third action I am gearing up for is to exercise. It WILL happen! I started Kayla Itsines Bikini Body Guide last week and I refuse to fail. Even if that means slogging through my Monday workout because I am short on sleep and weighed down with sugar. I am stronger than my negative feelings and know that what can be done can be undone.

I am amazed that one choice can snowball into many others of a similar kind. In my instance, one “bad” choice resulted in many “bad” choices, resulting in me feeling lousy. I like to think about it in the opposite way, positive choices. One “good” choice can make it easier to make the next “good” choice, leading to a really awesome me!

What is your experience with sugar? If you have a sweet tooth, how do you keep it under control?

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